Thursday, October 17, 2013

Healthier Inner Dialogue - Under-React


I remember reading somewhere (or was it on Dr. Phil?) that you don't have to show up for every fight you're invited to. This was a revelation to me. If I feel attacked or accused, I don't have to respond. If I feel that someone is just grumpy and lashing out, I don't have to respond.

Sweet. I don't really like arguing. I'm not good at it. For one thing, I have the worst memory ever, and if you're going to dredge up old complaints, you really should be able to remember them. Otherwise, you're left with counter-complaints but no back-up. Not entirely credible. So, I'm better off just not arguing.

Happiness guru, Gretchen Rubin, offers up and now I strive to under-react. Whatever I'm feeling, I try to respond with,...less. It works beautifully when I remember to use it. I appear graceful, patient, tolerant, and in-control, AND I start to feel like those things too. It's perfect.

So now, when I hear the pup squealing her squeaker ball and I want to yell or stomp, instead I under-react. I take a breath and get over it. She continues to enjoy her toy, I breath deeply and everybody is happy.

This is one that I'm going to have to keep working on, but work it does when I apply it. Do you think that consciously under-reacting could work for you?


Tina Bradley said...

Back home, we called this "taking the high road." :) It's sometimes hard to do, but I've learned there's many times it's the best avenue to take. Hugs, T.

Mindy said...

I'm always making an effort to bite my tongue. It's amazing how much peace there is when I'm not running my mouth. :)

Tara @ Suburble said...

This is something I need to work on. Hubs always says, "Do you have to comment on EVERYTHING!?!?" And part of me is like, "Yeah. Yeah I do."

But I don't. And if I learn to let go and not engage... well... I'd have a lot more energy to put into other stuff.

Like crafting. Or making a huge mess and then cleaning it up again. Same diff. ;)

Magic Love Crow said...

I love that quote Terry! I have to write it down! It got me thinking! I do feel I don't argue, as I said before, I tend to walk away. I don't know if that's good or not? But, I would rather deal with things my way. I don't like conflict. I just feels it puts more bad energy out there. And, most of the time arguments are over stupid things! Unless you are taking some to court for money! LOL! Big Hugs ;o)

Magic Love Crow said...

The last sentence, I meant to say, "someone"!! ;o)