Monday, October 14, 2013

Healthier Inner Dialogue - Self-Pity

Today's post is difficult for me, embarrassing really. Originally, I started off by asking if we are all guilty of self-pity and even started to type that I only succumb occasionally, but the more I sat with that statement, the more I realized it wasn't true.  I am a self-pity queen.

In our house, we call it sucky but it means the same thing. It means that you feel entitled to _____ (fill in the blank), and you get pouty and tantrumy when it doesn't happen. Sounds like I'm talking about a child doesn't it? Yeah, embarrassing.

I find that I'm most prone to feeling sucky when it comes to a clean house. I work hard to keep our house clean, yet it takes only minutes for things to become messy and dirty again. We have a house full of fur babies and us, and we are super messy. (Well, actually I'm not, so I think you get the picture - wink).

I'm more than a little neurotic about it. I can admit that, but man oh man, the nose prints on windows, half a mouse in the mudroom (yes, I said 'half'), crumbs upon crumbs on every floor surface, and crunchy dog terds somebody brought in -- all of these tend to make me sucky. I work hard for the clean house. I have earned a clean house. I deserve a clean house.


Big breath.

Even if some of my complaints sound like they have some basis in legitimacy, they are pretty ridiculous. I am a generously blessed woman with a fabulous husband, family, friends, furry babies, and home. There is no reason for me to be sucky about a nose print.  AND therein lies the solution to self-pity, aka the sucky.


Gratitude defeats sucky. Every time.

Check out this poster below; it's a real wake-up call. Anybody who is reading this is richer than 75% of the rest of the world. What? How can that even be true. But it is. And all we have to do to shrug out of the woe is me, my life isn't quite perfect doldrums, is to look at what we do have, and be thankful.

I have started to say a little gratitude affirmation each morning before I get out of bed. What do you like to do to acknowledge your gratitude?


Kei said...

Great post! It's too easy to get into that self-pity mode (I'm a terror for it!) and being grateful doesn't hurt or cost anything.
I don't deny myself the right to feel sucky over something, but I have a gratitude list and at the end of the day (especially one filled with self-pity!) I try to write down things I'm grateful for. More things the crappier the day has been, really!

Mindy said...

I REALLY need to work on the gratitude. I think about it, and then I enter daily life and the thought gets swept away with the cobwebs. I'm such a bitter, Debbie Downer most of the time. And my poor husband says, Is your life really so bad?! NO! It's not even a little bit bad!! So why do the sticky fingerprints on the windows send me into a tailspin?! I should be THANKFUL that I have healthy kids that are able to walk and use their hands. Yeah, it's definitely a work in progress. I have a friend who uses the phrase, "Stinkin' thinkin'." He's a recovering addict, so the context is different, but anytime I convince myself that my anger or frustration with stupid shit is justified, it's the stinkin' thinkin' working its way in. I've thought about starting a gratitude journal. I should probably do more than just think about it.

Tina Bradley said...

I have a short commute to work (about 5 minutes). I find it easy and enjoyable to silently think about all I am thankful for as I drive to and fro' work each day. Sure helps me put the little annoyances behind me! :) T.