Healthier Inner Dialogue - Just Say No

We all have an unprecedented number of demands on our time these days.  The more things get easier because of technology, the more things we pile on, and yes, the less time we have for all of it.

Couple that overburdened schedule with a hesitancy (and that's likely understating it) to say no, and wow, we have no time to ourselves.  So how can we fix that?

I found three suggestions that I think might help.

1.  Say yes to yourself and your loved ones.

If we consider that saying 'no' to ourselves also means saying no to those we love, then it might be a little easier to turn down someone's request for our time.   We can even incorporate this philosophy into our answer:  "I'd love to help you out with that, but that's the evening that we do family movie night, and I wouldn't dream of disappointing the kids." This now becomes a decision of which you can feel proud - I choose my family.  Not to mention, it's going to be a little tricky for someone to try to talk you into it now that they know it will mean failing your children.

2. Remember your priorities.

We can only complete so many things in a day, so we have to choose what those things are going to be.  We need to say this, this, and this are what's important to me and everything else has to be second (or lower).  Sometimes when we're faced with a request for our time, however, we get flustered and forget about what's essential. This nifty little diagram from Youth Leaders Academy is the perfect little tool for sorting things out.  (I am seriously in love with this chart). 

3.  Don't answer, yet.

This is my favourite tip.  Rachel from the Youth Leaders Academy site suggests, "Don't say yes, don't say no, say: 'I'll get back to you.'"

Don't you just love that? All of the discomfort of being put on the spot vanishes.  You can work through the chart above and decide if this is something you want to do, you have extra time to think of a polite response, and if the person who is asking you for the favour is anything like me, they might even forget that you were going to get back to them.  Win!

I have to admit that this is one that I have gotten better about now that I'm older.  I don't care as much about pleasing people and I feel like my time is so precious that I don't want to waste it doing things I really don't want to do.  Even still, I'm going to have Rachel's technique at the ready in case I feel boxed in by a request.

What's your favourite response to an invitation or task request that you don't want to do?