Sometimes I find that I respond badly to a situation entirely out of habit and I wonder how I can stop doing so. For example, I have a hard time resisting the snappy comeback, no matter how inappropriate or unkind it might be.
I'm not sure where this started, but I can tell you that it is definitely ingrained - a habit. My mind thinks quickly, my mouth works even faster, but my filter is tremendously slow. Yep. Not really an optimal situation.
So, what's a gal to do?
Replace the bad habit with something else. Well, that sounds easy doesn't it? So, I'll just substitute my witty little retort with something that is not offensive. I decided to choose 'oh my'. It fits as a response to most things. Let's see how it could work:
The Comment: We all know that global warming is a farce and scientists have even proven that it's a lie.
What I want to say: I think what we all know is that you are a horse's ass.
What I do say: Oh my, that's an interesting viewpoint. (smile)
The Comment (to a deli clerk): Gimme a half a pound of ham.
What I want to say: I'll 'give you' a kick to the groin if you can't find your manners.
What I do say: Oh my (under my breath).
The Comment: I'm exhausted, I'm going to head off for a nap.
What I want to say: Whoa, yes, watching me working my butt off must have tired you out.
What I do say: Oh my, yes, you must be so tired. Have a good sleep.
Hmmm,...yes, I can totally see this working. It's not nearly as satisfying to be sure, but it's also not nearly as regretful either. Maybe a genuine trade-off?
Do you struggle with bad habits? What techniques have you used to try to combat them?
I'm not sure where this started, but I can tell you that it is definitely ingrained - a habit. My mind thinks quickly, my mouth works even faster, but my filter is tremendously slow. Yep. Not really an optimal situation.
So, what's a gal to do?
Replace the bad habit with something else. Well, that sounds easy doesn't it? So, I'll just substitute my witty little retort with something that is not offensive. I decided to choose 'oh my'. It fits as a response to most things. Let's see how it could work:
The Comment: We all know that global warming is a farce and scientists have even proven that it's a lie.
What I want to say: I think what we all know is that you are a horse's ass.
What I do say: Oh my, that's an interesting viewpoint. (smile)
The Comment (to a deli clerk): Gimme a half a pound of ham.
What I want to say: I'll 'give you' a kick to the groin if you can't find your manners.
What I do say: Oh my (under my breath).
The Comment: I'm exhausted, I'm going to head off for a nap.
What I want to say: Whoa, yes, watching me working my butt off must have tired you out.
What I do say: Oh my, yes, you must be so tired. Have a good sleep.
Hmmm,...yes, I can totally see this working. It's not nearly as satisfying to be sure, but it's also not nearly as regretful either. Maybe a genuine trade-off?
Do you struggle with bad habits? What techniques have you used to try to combat them?
3 comments:
I can't stop laughing Terry! LOL! Seriously, I am even laughing now! LOL! I like your "what I want to say comments"! They are truthful ;o) You sound like my mom! LOL! And, she has gotten into trouble! LOL! For me, I have learned to be quiet and I smile ;o) It's hard!!! The one bad habit I have is biting my nails! Ugggg! They get to a nice length and then I start biting again, like a rabbit!!! LOL!
Big Hugs ;o)
I'm smiling as I know we ALL have those thoughts (what we'd like to say versus what we actually say). I will admit to having "gone" there in terms of saying what I'm thinking--a time or two (smile). I think it's an issue of mindfulness--putting space between the thought and action. Problem is, it's not always easy to do. I'm better at it than I was at one point in my life, though--no doubt. :) T.
I'm pretty certain that my Debbie Downer, snappy attitude is habit now, as well. My snotty remarks are just second nature. It's at the point now, where saying something nice hurts. I know, it's almost funny. But I have to force a sorry, or a thank you, or anything positive. If I don't force myself to immediately blurt it out, I just can't say it. What the eff is that?! Who have I become that saying please takes effort? And I'm not talking about strangers. I'm very nice and cordial to them. So I know it's in me. And it isn't work with them, either. It's a natural reaction. Okay, who am I kidding. I'm a raging bleep to my husband the majority of the time, and it's a wonder he hasn't punched me in my throat by now. There. I said it. I hate it and I'm constantly thinking about how I don't want to be that way, but I haven't done anything to change it. He's so easy going and mellow and nothing bothers him. And I freak out over a throw pillow that's sitting crooked. Or if I'm exhausted or stressed out or just having a rough day, instead of telling him why and talking to him like a human when he asks, I snap some smart ass remark about socks on the floor and storm off. Dude. I'm seriously feeling crazytown right about now. Maybe we should join crazytown anonymous together. I hear they serve wine. And cheese.
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