Andy and The Stinky, Smelly, Poopy, Putrid, Reeking, Rotten Day

This is a short story for the kiddos.  It is silly and foul and dedicated to Emma and Carter who have been oh so patient while I do other things.  If you have little ones at home that might like this story, I would love it if they drew some pictures to go with it.  If anyone does, please send them to me and I'll be sure to post them here and on Facebook.

Andy and the Stinky, Smelly, Poopy, Putrid, Reeking, Rotten Day

As Andy turned the corner, he crashed right into the foulest smell. “Oh man, what stinks?!” he grimaced with nose all wrinkled up. Julia whipped around quickly with nasty eyes that made Andy feel frightened. Just behind her he could see her cat, poor old Elvis,  throwing up. Whew – did it ever stink.  Andy tried to move quickly to his desk area to get away from the smell but it wasn’t working. He could feel his stomach turning. Ewwwwwww.  Before he could stop it, Andy was throwing up too. Again and again and again. He could hardly stop. Every time he thought he was okay, he would breathe in the pungent smell of Elvis’ puke and vomit again. Poor Andy. He felt terrible.  He had to get out of there.

Holding his stomach with one hand and his nose with the other, he ran out into the parking lot to get some fresh air. Whew. That’s a little better he thought, maybe I’ll go get something to eat, that will probably make me feel better.

People were always amazed that Andy could eat at any time. He really liked to eat. He liked to eat a big breakfast to get his day started off right. Then he liked to eat a snack in the morning so his tummy wouldn’t be rumbly. Another little snack before lunch, lunch of course, afternoon snack,…it really went on and on. Andy was an eating machine and right now he was amazingly enough, hungry.

He stood up straight and took a very deep breath just to make sure he felt okay. Wowee! “What is that smell?!” he gagged.  Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. The sewage treatment center across the street was letting out the stinkiest stench that he had ever smelled. It was much worse than the cat puke. Andy tried not to think about it, but before he could stop it, he was throwing up again. Again and again and again. He could hardly stop it. Poor Andy. He had to get out of there.

Wearing a very pale face, Andy ran around behind his work building so he could enter through the back door. He was feeling weak and had to slow and then stop for just a second to rest. When Andy stopped, he could smell something poopy. Sniff, sniff, sniff,….ewwwwwwwwwww,…he could smell dog poo. Slowly, carefully, he lifted his right shoe so he could see the bottom. Nope, nothing there. Even more slowly, more carefully, he lifted his left shoe so he could see the bottom. Ewwwwwwwww,…that was dog poo all right. Quickly Andy tried to scrape off the poo from the bottom of his left shoe by dragging it along the cement curb. The more he scraped, the more the poop smell dashed up to his nose. Andy tried to just keep breathing out so he wouldn’t smell the poop, but before he could stop it, he was throwing up again. Again and again and again. Wow did he need to find some fresh air, somewhere. 

Quickly, ever so quickly, Andy sprinted to the supervisor’s office out back. Up the stairs, two by two until he burst from the hallway into the large, fresh smelling office. Well it wasn’t really all that fresh smelling, but it didn’t smell like cat puke or sewage or dog poo. Andy was so relieved.

He flopped into the Supervisor’s chair and closed his eyes, breathing in the not smelly air. In and out, in and out. Okay, he was starting to feel better. And still feeling hungry. “Hmmm,…I wonder if Bob has any leftovers in his desk here,” Andy mumbled as he searched through the drawers. “What is this?” he wondered as he reached in and touched something soft and fuzzy. Maybe it’s a peach he thought. Oooh, he hoped so. Andy loved peaches. He loved how they tasted and he loved how they smelled. Swiftly Andy pulled out the peach and took a big sniff. Oh no.  It wasn’t a peach and boy did it smell putrid. It smelled so bad that it brought tears to Andy’s eyes. Without even looking to see where it landed, Andy threw the fuzzy piece of mystery food and started to run. He tried not to keep smelling the fuzzy food but the smell was stuck in his nose and before he could stop it, he was throwing up again. Again and again and again. Poor Andy. This was getting to be too much. 

He staggered into the kitchen area where the rest of his friends were having a snack. He needed to get his mind off of all the stinkiness around him. So he sat down and tried to relax. Ah, this was better. He was sitting with all his friends, everyone was laughing and chatting. Andy caught a look at Walter. Walter didn’t look very good. “Hey Walter, you okay?” Andy asked, “You look a little weird.”  Before anyone could answer, Walter ripped out the loudest fart Andy had ever heard followed immediately by a huge reek. That was all Andy needed and before he could stop it, he was throwing up again. Again and again and again. Without even stopping to see how Walter was, Andy bolted from the kitchen, down the metal stairs and out into the yard. 

He ran and ran and ran, not even looking which way he was going. He was running so fast that he tripped, flying through the air right onto a pile of rotting garbage. Of all the smells that Andy had smelled today, this was the worst of them all. It smelled completely rotten. Andy panicked when he realized where he was but the more he flailed about, the deeper into the garbage pile he got. He wanted to yell for help, but he knew if he opened his mouth, garbage would fall into it. He was trapped. Trapped in the garbage pile; breathing in the most rotten of the rotten. Andy’s body couldn’t even throw up anymore. His tummy was empty and he thought he was a goner.

He could only open his eyes a little, little bit but he spotted it. Could he reach it? Sure he could. He had to. Andy stretched and stretched his weak arm until he could feel his fingers wrap around it and he pulled it close to him stuffing it right up to his nose. In he breathed, deeply. Oh it was wonderful. So very, very wonderful. Andy had found a bathroom air freshener and it smelled wonderful. He couldn’t stop breathing it in. In and out; in and out. Mmmmmmm. Slowly Andy crawled out of the garbage pile with the air freshener still jammed right up to his nose. He brushed off the stray pieces of garbage with one hand and just kept on sniffing that freshener. Whew! He was starting to feel quite good now. He checked his watch and realized that it was nearly lunch time. Perfect, he thought, I’m starved.